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fight dormancy

i find myself at times sleeping inside myself my soul just existing, not truly breathing in me. the world seems to swirl around me and sometimes i don't feel it, don't want to feel it, because it hurts. it doesn't last too long, though, the greyness. the people around me pull me into the yellow rain. connecting with people, slamming souls and auras together, is the only thing. the only thing.
my voice is raspy. i will go out tonight, and swallow myself into music, drown in it's medicine.

September 17, 2001 | 4:34 PM Comments  0 comments

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what a week...mind liquified slightly....big world and me own wee world shifting, morphing, shall i ever know slouch comfortable again in my skin? i suppose. we all adapt. organisms, after all, survival is in our blood. sigh. enough. happy thoughts, live in a bubble. ignorance is bliss? truth.

September 14, 2001 | 6:53 PM Comments  0 comments

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Shaken foundation

i have always felt so lucky to live in a part of the world where i never truly encountered evil, never really felt unsafe, never ever had to question my freedom. thank you, lord, allah, whomever, for my birth into Canada! now my fundamental foundations are shaken....how can america the great, america the strong be brought to their knees so swiftly, so powerfully? although before this day i admit to begruding america's seemingly untouchable might, it's blatant cocky confidence, i realize today that that self assurance is what created my own sense of security. if the pentagon, the trade towers can crumble awfully as they did yesterday, than.....i am afraid for what happens next. all those lives so quickly lost - mothers, sons, husbands, daughters, lovers, friends. president bush's words sound ominously in my head - "we will not differentiate between the terrorists and those who harbour them"....i am afraid that if bin laden is responsible, people already wrought by the insanity of the taliban will suffer further in afganistan. newscastors are calling this the third world war, a turning point, an apocalypse, and i really don't know what to believe.

September 12, 2001 | 10:50 AM Comments  0 comments

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